today sucked. totally.
1. something bad happened to me. something which i hope i will never experience again until im 17.
like hey. how do you expect a 14 year old girl to deal with a 17 year old girl's problems?
never again. never.
2. im prepared to flunk history big time. i cant remember a single thing about history. yet i studied physics today. hoho the irony. -.-
3. there's school tmr. 2 hours of chinese. screwed.
4. im probably not going over to jason's tmr.
which is bad.
which means i might have to go over either on friday or saturday when i dont know anyone there. if i go tmr there's benjamin chai.
i feel so helpless.
5. im probably failing chinese. ya i know. i suck big time.
6. it's a race against time. i cant seem to finish whatever i need to. i feel like dying.
7. i just felt my own family turn against me. what could be worse than having your own family turn against you?
yet it leads me to wonder, what am i here for?
i was just experiencing the last trauma when eugene came back from wherever he was and talked to me:
Eugene; lift me up high says (22:40):
back
-bittersweet memories; 4 days. says (22:44):
"welcome back" ?
Eugene; lift me up high says (22:44):
-_-
-bittersweet memories; 4 days. says (22:45):
sorry lah
-bittersweet memories; 4 days. says (22:45):
i really feel like suiciding now?
Eugene; lift me up high says (22:46):
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Eugene; lift me up high says (22:46):
DONT.
Eugene; lift me up high says (22:46):
oh man you.
at this point i really wanted to flare up at him, almost doing what i had done to shaun tho no long back after army daze.
yet it kind of reminded me, of what happened with shaun tho. it really pricked my conscience. what right did i have to do that to him? still he was so nice about it, and even cared to ask.
the guilt still lives within. i really shouldnt have done that to him, especially since he wasnt my cause of problem and he just had a production.
im sorry shaun. im really sorry.i calmed down and replied lamely.
-bittersweet memories; 4 days. says (22:47):
what.
Eugene; lift me up high says (22:48):
dont scare me
Eugene; lift me up high says (22:48):
._.
-bittersweet memories; 4 days. says (22:48):
right. i really feel like suiciding.
and that's when i broke down in front of the com and cried.
sometimes being me just scares me,yet i guess it scares others more.5 more days to doom. be a hardcore mugger.
